Crazy German ex-girlfriend trying to get me fired

Ok, so I have a incredibly crazy ex girlfriend who is keen on getting me fired and thus forcing me to leave germany. She has been sending me nuuuumerous emails threatening many of things.

I am still within my Probezeit right now and i dont need any negative attention drawn my way. She has threatened calling my employer and it she insists now that she has done so. Shes says she has told them I applied to a competing firm and I really havent, as I love my job and intend on staying with my company for the long foreseeable future. I need advice...

A few questions:

Could this be grounds for termination of employment in Germany?
I work for a large corporation, you could say...Do companies even hear out random phone calls like that?
Should I talk to my boss about this before I really know if anything was really said or done?
Could I and should I get a restraining order? Lawyer?

Any thoughts on this matter would be great...

Thanks!

SHould not but could be - in the Probezeit neither side has to give grounds for termination.


I fear the answer is YES even if they should not.


If you have reasonable confidence in your boss that may well be a good way to go.


Think others (e.g. Sarabyrd) better put to answer this one...

I strongly doubt that any company could possibly be so stupid as to not realize some random woman calling them up with damaging "information" about one of their new employees is probably not trying to act in the best interest of the company rather than herself. I'd wait it out, and if the matter is brought up with you then that's the right time to share a little. Also, use the excuse to cut off all contact with her, since she has clearly gone off into the deep end.

Log all the calls, threats and e-mails but don't talk to your boss yet, it sounds like she's bluffing to me and just wants to panic you, which she has achieved.

If you talk to your boss about extra-work activities and problems he may consider you a liability.

I would treat this aggressively and take the wind out of ex's sails with a vengence. Tell HR/your boss about her vendetta and that it's all lies. Then send her an e-mail telling her that you have done so.

As bd says, log all calls, e-mails etc. and trot down to your local District Court (Amtsgericht). They can issue a restraining order, and you can try to file criminal charges for stalking.

Careful. Wasn't there a thread about some guy in the same situation who eventually had his German girlfriend press sexual harassment charges? I think he ended up getting contacted by the police about it... at work. Not a resume builder, that one.

First two things: break off all contact to her and document everything.
By reacting openly to her, the more control and attention you give - which is exactly her aim.
If you have to change your phone number or your email, document this.
Even if you do not want to press charges just yet, it may be worth popping along to your local Polizeiliche Beratungsstelle. They can look at the emails and texts, give your advice on what best to do and even document the items for a future case if necessary.
Contacting them before speaking to your boss or HR and then going with any paperwork from them will strengthen your standing at work - it won't just look like something silly but like the serious threats that they are.
Good luck.

This is sadly not uncommon. I agee with the zero tolerance approach - get legal advice, consult the police, whatever - and do what it takes to ensure she can't contact you and never, ever respond.

Easy to say but, as above here, try to keep a perspective. Crazy ex's are seen by most for what they are. Most people simply look on and wonder why their behaviour is so utterly dysfunctional.
Let it play out.

But, then again, the more they do it and the more visible they make it, the more rope they hang themselves with...

I'm not sure what the ex-'s day job is, but how does she even find the time for all her shenanigans? Isn't her own job performance suffering because of the time she spends sending all these threats?

Holding a "mirror" up to bad behaviour works wonders. Get a tape recorder or use your mp3 player (warn her that every further time she now calls she'll be automatically recorded. Then play back her rantings to her - ask her to listen to herself.

He said she's crazy, not stupid. Anyone with half a brain who wants to do what she's proposed to do would call his employer pretending to be the "new" company asking about his performance and for a reference. This would tell the "old" company that he's looking for a new job without her looking like a shrieking lunatic calling up and bitching blindly about him.

.. and once you have heeded all this wonderful advice, please reward everyone by telling us the story!

Most Germans shit themselves at the first whiff of legal action, go to a lawyer get them to rightwrite a nice threatening letter stating that you are aware of what she is doing as are the police, and if this continues you will be forced to take further action .

Agree, give her a short unpersonal note, that you will follow legal steps "Ich werde rechtliche Schritte einleiten" or involve the Police if anything happens. And tell her your Employer is on your side. Not going in too much detail.

go to the police its harrasment and she willl stop once the boys in green have been around to her

Oh man ppl like that wonder why they are never in relationships cause they cant control their emotions.
Theres no two ways about this get onto it before she actually does anything - she may be bluffing now for attention but if shes this unstable then I wouldn't waste time.

You will come off looking much more saner (sp.) and professional if you take the right way first - talk to Police, lawyers (dont know if any free legal advice here)

The taping of calls, collecting emails (print them out - and leave in email too as you can report her for cyber bullying), anything really thats traceable to what she does (its all just fuel for the fireball back), and if you have confidence in someone from work or family/friend outside let them bear witness to it - nothing better then an outside witness to back you up.
And dont talk to her unless thru formal means i.e. lawyer
It doesnt matter what u may or may not have done to her, the fact stands dont let personal matters affect your professional
I have seen some serious stuff go down back home from non action, and not in the victims favour.

Good luck and keep us posted - love bit drama on here

cheers

As someone has already pointed out go to a lawyer, most people here are terrified of legal action.

Why?

It's better to take legal action or report her actions and get a restraining order, before she tries to screw him with that stuff after she's desperate.

Not sure this is a live issue any longer, but that was Joe's point. Simply getting a lawyer might scare her sane.

No I dont think threats are actually a good idea. Get a restraining order. It's the only way to help to protect yourself in case she goes even more crazy. If you intimidate her, she could either freak out and leave you alone or do what the normal angry ex does: stop scaring the shit out of you and file criminal charges against you for something you didn't do. Like rape. Its a big thing that angry woman seem to do these days. Especially angry woman who are 'threatened' with a lawyer. If that pisses her off she'll just show up with self-inflicted bruises or signs up rape at the local police, and you've just screwed up your chances at a good future here.

It could happen. There's no reason to let something like this get out of control.

Oh -- of course it could be found out eventually that you're innocent if she accuses you of these things, but the investigation and stress with the police is bad enough to begin with.